Carrot, egg or coffee?

Let me tell you my favorite story:

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water.  In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word.  In about twenty minute she turned off the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee into a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did and noted that they were soft.  She then asked her to take an egg and break it.  After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.  Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What’s the point, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity… boiling water – but each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.  However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior.  But, after being through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked the daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this:  Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a break up, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

carrot

I don’t think one is better that the others.

I think sometimes we need to be like carrots. Soft. Understanding. Sensitive.

Sometimes like eggs, hard and steady.

And sometimes we just need a cup of good coffee that can change everything. Alone or with friends.

But most of all we need to be human. Real and authentic. Broken or hard. Smiling or crying. Because whatever you feel is okay and you don’t have to be someone else to be good enough.

 

Best thing I never had

Years ago, I fell in love with you. I imagined how it would be if we were dating. If we were together. In that time, it seemed like the best thing that could happen. I thought that I wouldn’t be happier if we were a couple.

Today, I am looking at old photographs and I realize it is the best thing I never had. I realize how stupid and naive I was. I was very young and I believed that you are so good. I couldn’t be more wrong. You would have destroyed me. You would have taken my innocence. You would have destroyed my dreams and changed my future.

Now I can say you turned out to be the best thing I never had and I am the best thing you never had.

What seemed like disaster at the time is now the best thing that never happened. So don’t be sad when something does not happen. Maybe it is not meant for you. And I believe something even better might be waiting for you. Just believe.

P.S. this is inspired by Beonce’s song Best thing I never had which I love so much.

Of her. Of lonelyness.

She had her window opened as she was falling asleep. She could hear noises of never sleeping city. Cars. Music. She knew there are people behind all these noises and for brief moment she was not feeling that lonely in her bed where she was all alone.

She was longing for someone she could hug, she could kiss, she could love. But there was noone. She was walking all by herself in this crazy world.

Everyone she ever met would say she was strong woman, yet she was crying that night in her bed all by herself.

Of pictures.

I really love art. All forms of it. Music, theater, painting, films, …. The truth is, I can’t live without art. I surrounds me in every way possible. Furthermore, I love creating. I like to create new things. I love to create whole worlds. (Just in my head, of course.)

Five years ago, I met this guy. He seemed perfect. He was handsome, funny, smart. It took me just one heartbeat to fall in love with him. And from this moment I started to paint me own picture of him. Over time I was taking parts of him I liked and then I added so many details myself. I wasn’t seeing real him anymore, I just saw the picture I created.

I loved this illusion for such a long time. In my dreams, he was perfect. And then, reality came in. I don’t understand how, but one day I was with him and I could see real him. And he was so different. He changed. He is not the guy I fell in love with. Te picture was destroyed.

The only thing I know, I must let him go, because I deserve better than this.

Few minutes is enough

Sometimes few minutes are more than weeks, even months. Sometimes few minutes are just enough.

There is this guy I fell in love. I was worrying about it literally for month. I was asking questions if he is the one, if he is worth it. I was even crying and depressed. So I was thinking a lot about it. I was thinking if I should let him go because I AM worth more than just waiting for him. I was overthinking everything. His look, his smile, his “hello”.

And just now I suddenly stopped. I stopped thinking about it. I just was there. With him, looking at him and I realized how much I like him. Even if it might hurt. He is worth it.

And what I realized is that when you love someone you should always be yourself. And if he likes real you, you will be together. (Or not, I don’t know.)